HRmageddon | a Review
originally published on 14/12/2024;
Hello everyone, I am the human-loving G.E.M.Simov, a person vehemently against HR, due to the fact that HR means Human Resources and looking at people as resources is so dehumanizing that the term HR is some weird contradiction that bothers me greatly. I am here to tell you about the flash game “HRmageddon”.
Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.
Gameplay
HRmageddon is a turn based tactical (strategy?) game, in which the Player faces off either against another Player or the Computer.
At the start of a match, the Player is granted the opportunity to build a team of 6 units, with the only restriction being that there must be that many units. There are 4 types of units, each with distinct perks that make them quite intriguing, such as the distant (attacks from afar and knocks nearby enemies away) Receptionist, the supportive (healing and empowering) Manager, the defensive (can take a lot of damage, raises walls and reduces damage dealt) IT guy, or the disgusting (sexually harasses or intoxicates his coworkers) Sales guy.
So the Player builds a team of 6 (6 Receptionists is the way to go, trust me) and then a random map is loaded for the ensuing match. The Player has their turn first, with the turn ending either when each unit has had its own turn, or when the Player picks the “End Turn” option on the bottom right (relative to the Player) of the screen.
Immediately, oddities present themselves. Some maps are not balanced, giving a clear advantage to the one of the two Players, which is an incredible flaw. As an example, the game features two conditions for winning - one requires that one of the two teams loses all of its members (kill all enemies), while the other requires that one of the two teams controls a certain number of cubicles.
Normally, the balanced maps feature the same opportunities for both Players, meaning that what one Player can do on turn one, the other Player (or the Computer) can do on their first turn as well. However, there is one map that is not symmetrical, and which features starting locations that are not even - one of them features a cubicle that can be reached on turn one, and the other does not. That is dreadful, because it immediately gives the Player starting next to that cubicle an unfair advantage.
Now, cubicles are not just captureable. They provide benefits - such as an increase of 2 damage per cubicle controlled, so not only does that particular Player get to start off their cubicle collection earlier, but they also get an increase in their damage at the very start of the game, which might seem low, considering that all units have at least 100 health, but it adds up, and quickly at that.
Aside from that, there are other issues that plague the game’s maps - mainly relating to power-ups and, again, a lack of symmetry. There is a map that features different power-ups, even if the layout of the map is symmetrical. On the top of the map there is a virtually useless present pick-up, while on the bottom of the map there is an incredibly useful copy-machine pick up.
The present does the following - fully heals and “motivates” (empowers for two turns) the unit that picks it up. However, that is virtually useless, because to get the present, a unit must walk up to it first and end their turn on top of the present. Presents (and pick-ups in general) are out of the way, requiring at least one extra turn to actively walk towards them, meaning that the 2 turn motivation that the unit gets is actually a 1 turn motivation, because they walk up to the present, take it, using it immediately, and must then end their turns. So they do, and their 2 turn motivation goes down to 1 turn, and so then the unit must make use of that motivation within that turn, otherwise the present is a bit wasted.
However, the copy-machine does something else - it creates a whole new unit, a copy of the unit that collects the copy-machine, which unit has the same abilities and can capture points. Having 1 more body on the field, even if it dies immediately, is immensely useful - far more than potentially getting a slight boost to one’s damage dealt for one turn. Even the full heal of the present is incredibly situational (and largely useless) because if a unit walks out of a fight to go get the present, the other Player will just go and capture cubicles or gang up on another unit, capitalizing on the number advantage.
Either way, here we have the issue of insufficient design. There was some design done, ideas thrown at the board, but the design is not good enough. It is flawed, it is not balanced, it was not considered. This tactical game features such and such options, but then the goals that are present conflict with the options that are on display - why would anyone go for pick-ups when cubicles are more useful in 11 out of 12 cases?
Now, onto units. Units can only move once (or not at all), even if it would make sense for them to be able to move more than once. In fact, this is not limited to movement only - units get a turn, literally. Whenever a unit is selected as the one to take its turn, it must move and/or attack during that selection, otherwise it can not do so again until the Player’s next turn. This makes very little sense, all things considered, and is unpleasantly restrictive, requiring that the Player work around that limitation.
So, the Player clicks a unit and gets a menu of options - those options are to end the unit's turn, to move the unit, to attack or to use one of the unit’s two special abilities. The unit cannot attack unless an applicable enemy is within its attack range, so that option will be grayed out if there is no enemy adjacent to the unit (on a square grid, excluding diagonal ‘adjacency’). The same applies to the unit’s abilities - if there is no applicable target in range, then the ability is grayed out. That is not bad, but, again, it feels clunky and messy, considering the limitation that is in place (no splitting movement, no staggering turns).
Another issue presents itself with collision. There are some units (the Receptionist) who can ignore walls, though it seems as though she should not be able to do so, which gives her an additional, incredible advantage when it comes to some (if not many of the possible) situations.
So the game has issues. It does, and they are bothersome enough to take away from the otherwise stable, maybe even solid gameplay that is present. Tactical combat is always very pleasant to engage in, especially when exploring and discovering it, but it has to be done well, it has to be clean, otherwise it does not feel good, and it does not feel fair, or outright is not fair.
HRmageddon’s case is the following - the game does not pretend to be fair, even if it needs to be fair, especially considering the fact that the game is supposed to be a multiplayer experience. The game is also clunky, and it does not have enough depth or replayability to get away with it either. 2/3
Presentation
HRmageddon looks okay. It is clearly reliant on caricatures, some of which are more egregious than others - as an example, there are some characters who, even though clearly amped up, look good and even somewhat flattering, whereas others are demeaning and downright reliant on unpleasant stereotypes.
The sprite work is quite neat, coupled with entertaining, and overly violent, animations. The locations in which the matches take place are readable and clear, while also definitely resembling the dreaded office spaces everyone imagines when they think “office”.
It has a very weird tutorial, in the sense that it is a long document accessed by clicking the “How to Play” button that berates the Player with information, not unlike how anything in a large company would be presented to an employee. It is a bit obtuse and overwhelming, but if engaged with is incredibly helpful, as it could be considered to literally be a part of the game’s Design Document that is just made accessible to Players. It does the job very well, and could be considered part of the ‘parody’ aspect that this game is going for with its theme.
In fact, the game sticks to its theme remarkably well. Everything looks like a spreadsheet - when it needs to, of course, and a certain number of menus are very entertaining in the sense that they make use of charts that react to what the Player does, and has those tacky corporate attempts at being friendly, relatable and familial.
The one aspect of the presentation that the game really struggles at is the sound. Not just the music - of which there are two tracks, one of which only plays over the main menu, and is quite hype, while the second is a droning, monotonous moaning that’s more like ambiance than music, which is the only bit of ost for the matches themselves - but also the sound effects. They’re… They’re not that good. They do the job, they convey what they need to, but the whole thing is just somewhat unpolished, missing something. 2/3
Story
Two humongous office companies, dubbed “Gray Solutions” and “Beige Dynamics” (amazing) are performing a merger, and in typical corporation fashion, decide to avoid layoffs by hosting a weird death-game competition between different teams from each company - whoever lives gets to keep the job, whoever dies… Well, they’re dead, so no working for them!
This is all the story, frankly, and it is novel enough to be entertaining as a premise, but that’s all it is. 0/3
Legendary Point
Does this game get the Legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? For a moment, I thought to myself that sure, why not. After all, there are a couple of very juicy reasons for it to get the point! But then I considered, and thought to myself, and reckoned that, perhaps, that is not the way. It is neat, it is interesting, it has those two reasons, but the game is not something I’m excited about, nor is it something I am going to be thinking about in the future. So NO, HRmageddon does not get the legendary point. 0/1
Conclusion
4/10. HRmageddon is a caricature of office work life, of how companies treat their employees and of the concept of HR as a whole. It is an interesting little tactical game that could be entertaining for an hour, maybe a few if one really gets behind the idea, but it is not spectacular. I, frankly, would not recommend it.
In the bag of mediocrity I send this game to gather some dust, no matter how culturally relevant it is.