Saints Row 2 | a Review
originally published on 17/05/2022;
Hello everyone, I am the notorious… Playa, a recently awakened, from a multi-year coma, hardened gangster. Actually, I'm G.E.M.Simov, here to tell you all about Saints Row… 2.
Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it. Also, I am a gameplay designer and a writer so I got the credentials to talk shit.
Gameplay
First, ladies and gents, it should be noted that I have not played Saints Row 1, and I do not think I will be playing it, as the experience of playing this one soured my perception of everything to have come before it. This review comes from a person who does not have excessive gaming prowess in the GTA franchise, upon which this game is based, or, rather, derived from. As a result of that, most of my experience with games in the vein of GTA is confined to Saints Row: The Third and Saints Row IV.
So, now that this is out of the way, let me get on with this review. Saints Row 2 was a console made game which managed to get a dogshit port and came to plague PCs all around the world, running horribly, providing an unbelievably unpleasant sensation of jank, that is everpresent, and also a mindbogglingly obvious adherence to limitations that undermine the gameplay so greatly that one needn't be a university certified game designer, such as myself, to be able to tell you that this is an embarrassment.
But let's dial it down. Saints Row II, henceforth referred to as SR2, is a third person game, in which the character is in the center of the screen, and the player can move them along the X and Y axis, as well as, on occasion, the Z axis. I say the X and Y axis, and I refer to the horizontal and the vertical, and with the Z axis I refer to elevation.
The player moves with the WASD keys, walking around, and can hold down the Shift button to accelerate and sprint, or hold down the CAPS Lock button to slow down and walk. The Space button allows the player to jump, and, if jumping next to a sufficiently short wall, the Player Character (PC) will vault over it.
Good things about this simple movement system: It is simple. Normally running is relatively swift, but sprinting is surprisingly fast. Sometimes, the PC can outrun cars, and that is really satisfying. However, that is about as far as the positives get.
The PC can swim, but cannot speed up while swimming, and also cannot jump while in the water, which is disappointing, and really makes the player not derive enjoyment out of the process of swimming around.
The simple movement scheme messes with the most vital part of this game - the combat. Why? Because, well, there are no means of avoiding damage, other than hiding behind a wall. The enemies are incredibly accurate (though that might be the hardcore difficulty) and they tend to hit even while the player is moving in zigzag patterns and also jumping.
This is where another issue arises - the combat is, probably, the most plagued thing by the jank of this game. The jank could be owed up to the fact that the game is a horrendously ported console game, or it could be based on the fundamentals of its gameplay. Either way, when the player gets to the combat, they can zoom in, slightly. Iron sights, as it is called. That swaps the camera from a straight behind the player to an over the shoulder view, and that is meant to help the player aim and shoot, however it does not actually contribute all that well, as something happens to the sensitivity of the mouse, as far as I've come to recognize it as such, or, simply, the game remains far too janky, and the movements lack the finesse, the smoothness, needed for proper aiming.
That smoothness is missing not only in the combat, but also in the game overall. Introducing the frame rate lock, forced upon us by the dogpoop nature of the console. 30 FPS, as they call it. That is one of the things that really messed with the feeling of the game, and might be the main contributor to the janky sensation, although, unfortunately, it is not the only one.
Introducing janky controls - sometimes, the game does not even recognize that the player is pressing down a button - be it one that initiates movement or one that does something else. When the game has some very precision sensitive segments, you, dear reader, should know that any mistake, or malfunction, costs the player the activity that requires that precise movement.
The janky controls mess with the vehicular motion the most. Now, I can see a good driving system. I can. But it is covered under layers of weirdness, of filth, even, and it just is lacking in enjoyability. I praised the fact that the vehicles in Saints Row The Third and Saints Row IV, henceforth SR3 and SR4, had unique handling and felt different, but I fear that it was praiseworthy due to the fact that it was done in moderation.
I feel as though the differences in vehicular movement here, be it handling, weight, so on and so forth, is far too varied. Some cars are utterly terrible when it comes to trying to perform a Powerslide(a maneuver that is performed by breaking hard while in motion, yet also turning at the same time). Some vehicles literally cannot perform a Powerslide. Some do it well. Some, that ought to be able to do it well, oversteer or understeer horribly. Overall, there are a very small number of vehicles that can truly perform the manneuver properly, and that makes me a little upset, as this is applicable for everything that is connected to vehicular motion.
Now, I will take this opportunity to mention that the player can do a lot of things in the game, but at least 50% of their playtime will be spent driving a car. Some of the things that can be done are dubbed 'Activities', and a number of them is truly deviating from what the player can normally do.
An example would be the dreaded, truly, 'Trail Blazer', in which the PC hops on a quad-bike, is set on fire, and has to run over pedestrians and other vehicles, while being an almost immovable object. The goal in those is to go through a number of 'checkpoints' before running out of time, and the means of accumulating time are running over pedestrians and colliding with other vehicles. I bring this one up, as it is truly the most foul bit of gameplay to be experienced in SR2.
The act of running over pedestrians in the quad-bike, which is barely wider than the PC themselves, in this janky, unresponsive-control ridden shitfest, is unbelievably difficult. Sometimes, I am almost literally situated inside the pedestrian, and they are not being toppled, or getting caught on fire. It is… Staggeringly ludicrous.
And so… So far, SR2 sounds like a bad time. And, truly, it is. However, there are small flashes of light. Fun experiences to be had. The 'Activities' feature some proper bullseye shots. There are races - which require the player to move through a number of checkpoints, within the allotted time. These races are incredibly enjoyable, because they require that the player develop their ability to drive the vehicle they are provided with, so as to succeed.
Trial and error, learning, improvement, and the ability to find a fault within oneself… Good, good stuff. Naturally, there is something that I need to point out. The races that are good are the ones featuring only the player. The races that feature other vehicles are dogshit, utter garbage, and should have been left on the cutting room floor. The AI the player is up against cheats. One only needs to go through an 'Activity' that puts another character, an NPC, the AI, in the driver's seat. It is absolutely impossible to describe how seamlessly the computer controls the vehicle it drives around. Simply ridiculous.
Thankfully, there are means of winning these races, even if they are not as fun as the solo races. But let me get back on target. The 'Activities' are worth doing, as each has a number of levels (6). Completing 3 of the levels rewards the player with something - be it access to a new weapon or some kind of power up, in the form of more sprinting time, faster health regeneration, a more rapid reduction of notoriety, or, even, an infinite supply of ammunition - the rewards are very good, as they directly affect the gameplay and make the game easier.
This brings me to one of the good things about SR2, which is shared with SR3 and SR4. Collection, completion, progress. In SR2, as in SR3 and SR4, there is a bar. The more things the player does, the more filled up the bar becomes. That indicates progress, and I quite like it.
Another indication of progress is 'Respect', which is accumulated in a number of different ways. Performing 'Activities' grants a large amount of respect. Doing tricks in a vehicle grants respect. Displaying excellence in combat grants respect. Furnishing cribs grants respect. Doing anything that is not a story mission grants respect.
Respect is somewhat reminiscent of an experience bar, and it tends to represent progress. However, that progress is bound, exclusively, to the fact that the player needs to have a rank of respect, so as to be able to take on a story mission. The rank of respect is lost (1 per mission) and the player gets to do the mission.
When it comes to getting respect, there's an interesting mechanic that increases the amount of respect the player gets from 'Activities', and that is the act of buying clothes… And vehicles. The more clothes and cars the player buys, the higher their style rank. The higher their style rank, the more respect they receive.
On the subject of missions… The story missions do not have anything far too outstanding as gameplay mechanics. In fact, there are some boss fights in the game - and they are all quite underwhelming, be it due to the fact that there are issues with the Presentation of the game, be it due to the fact that goons keep flooding into the bossfight and only make it less coherent, be it because the bossfight revolves around a single mechanic that utilizes boss invulnerability… The game has tried to make them interesting, but has not quite succeeded. They are more than a little boring.
One other thing, before I conclude the Gameplay section. This game is abominably buggy, or, if it isn't buggy, it is dogshit design choices. The player, sometimes, has the options to call up a vehicle. Half the time, when the vehicle arrives, the player can interact with it in a certain way. The other 50% of the time, the vehicle spawns in, but despawns before the player can even see it, or the player cannot interact with it in that specific manner that they, supposedly, could.
This happens with many vehicles, not exclusively ones that are forced into existence by the player's actions. The player can look in a direction, down a road, and see cars. They can then rotate their camera at 360 degrees, and, suddenly, those cars that were previously there will be gone. Even looking back and then forward again causes vehicles to despawn. It also works for pedestrians.
That's an issue, as it messes with the player's ability to perceive the game's setting as a proper, living city. Not only that, but it messes with the player's ability to steal a car - because one can't steal a car if there are no cars - or their ability to interact with the pedestrians, which is required for some 'Activities' and minigames.
On top of all that, whenever the player generates enough Notoriety, the vehicles that do end up spawning are forced to be of the faction chasing the player, and the spawns of ordinary vehicles are monstrously reduced, to a point of it being borderline impossible to get a car.
Lastly, let me explain Notoriety. Depending on the player's actions, the PC accumulates a temporary resource called Notoriety. This could be Police Notoriety or Gang Notoriety. The way the player accumulates this is by stealing from representatives of the Police or a Gang, killing pedestrians or Gang Members and also in certain 'Activities'. Notoriety increases up to a certain level, and the higher the PC's Notoriety, the more adamant the attempts of either the Police, or the appropriate Gang, to kill the PC.
Notoriety decays as long as the player does not engage in combat, or actions that raise Notoriety, after a certain amount of time of being passive passes. It is not too complex, but it tends to get the job done.
Overall, SR2 was very unsatisfying to play. It was quite impressive just how little fun I was having, although that could be owed up to the difficulty I had picked. Either way, 1/3
Presentation
This is an older game that does not look too good. On the one hand, it looks decent for its era, but, on the other hand, it's foul. The landscapes and places are quite interesting and distinct, the world is unique and has great variety. The characters, a number of them, look quite good… However, another number of them looks abominable. They're so hideous I have no words to describe it. Lastly, the PC is custom made by the player. Unfortunately, that means they're very difficult to make handsome or beautiful, or even visually appealing.
The music is a mixed back. The few tracks that are built into the menu are quite neat, but everything else is just third party rap, pop, electronica, classical, rock, reggae… And it's not very good, overall.
There is a big problem with the game, though. There is a distinct lack of visual clarity. It is, sometimes, very hard to make out something that should be very easy to make out. It is very hard to discern between X and Y, at some points. This really messed with the experience, not only associated with the way the game looks, but also with the way the game is played.
Abstracting myself from that issue, there is one other thing I need to mention. The voice acting in this game is surprisingly good, and I am quite pleased by it. The way the things they say is written is not impressive. It feels as though the characters are not talking to the PC, but they're talking at the PC, sometimes understanding and listening to what the PC says, other times treating them as though they are mute. It is very weird - more on that in the Story section.
That one good, unfortunately, does not, in my opinion, excuse the problems with SR2's presentation. 1/3
Story
The story is quite good, I feel. The PC is a member of a Gang that used to be a really big deal, but is now virtually gone. The PC, waking up from a multiple-year coma, is now, technically, the leader of the Gang, and they've got to raise it up from the ashes, deal with a number of rival gangs, and uncover how did things go that far.
The story is interesting on the merit of the characters that are present in it. They are all interesting, relatively well written, and act, as well as react, in quite the human manner, which is very pleasant. The writing is, overall, on a very high level - when it comes to the way events occur in the plot, when it comes to how the mystery of what has happened during the PC's coma is uncovered - but the writing, when it comes to lines of dialogue or means of interaction between characters, on a very basic level, is wonky.
The worst offender here would be the fact that, half the time, characters talk to the PC as if the PC cannot speak and has not just said something. Another issue would be that some characters appear to develop relationships out of nowhere, off of, perceivably, no interactions. On the one hand, it makes sense that they would have these goings on, as time tends to pass in between story missions, which are mostly how the player gets the story, but, on the other hand, the player does not see the characters interacting. I would say it is a little weird.
One issue, which I would describe as massive enough to wholly affect the score, is the fact that the story felt rushed. That might be my personal opinion, but with the way the cinematics were presented, with how the characters acted in those cinematics - it all seemed to suggest that there were things happening in between said cinematics. Things which felt as though they would have helped with fleshing out both the story overall and the characters themselves. Because you can always do better, naturally.
Overall, though, I've got to say that the story is one of SR2's stronger suits. I quite enjoyed it, and I felt as though it was a very neat thing to adorn this… Proverbial shit-cake with. 2/3
Legendary Point
Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time?
It is Saints Row. It was interesting to play through, that's a given… But it does NOt get the point. I did not have fun playing it, and the reasons aren't ones I can excuse. It did not change my life, it did not affect me positively, nor greatly. 0/1
Conclusion
4/10. A slightly below average, average game, if only because of its story. I'm almost certain that, if I were to have played it on a console, it would have been a bit more pleasant to play, but that's no good reason for me to be forced into buying a console. In any case, play this game if you like GTA, or games like it, and if you like stories about gangsters. It's quite uncouth, but in a very entertaining manner.
In the bag of mediocrity it goes. It is quite interesting how, as a result of this, came about other things that were so much greater, but it is a good progression. It might not gather as much dust as others, but it won't be leaving the confines of the bag.