The Game of LIFE | a Review
originally published on 13/12/2024;
Hello everyone, I am the life-living G.E.M.Simov, a fellow so steeped in life that I have a bit of know-how, as a result of which I will be telling you about “The Game of LIFE”.
Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.
Gameplay
The Game of LIFE, both its digital and physical versions, will be reviewed by yours truly here, as they are, essentially, the same game. There’s a large board with a path (that splits at times, but then always reconnects). Players, anywhere from two to four, get little vehicles with a single pin in them (the pin is either blue, for a dude, or pink, for a gal) and need to get to the last available tile.
To do so, they spin a wheel with 10 possible options (ranging from 1 to 10) and move a number of tiles equal to the number that they got on the wheel. The goal, while being to get to the last available tile, is to actually make as much money as possible. Each Player starts with 200k and gets the option to either go to college, for a chance at getting a higher paying job, or just starts off with a non-college job.
Non-college jobs pay less, but do not require the investment of 100k that college jobs require, and they also start paying off faster than college. A job is picked by having the Player picking a job be presented with 4 cards, out of which 2 get drawn and the Player decides which one they would like to get.
So, money is earned by passing over “money” slots, which award the Player their job’s salary (without requiring that the Player stops at the slot). In relation to the Player’s job, they also get a bonus number - which is anywhere from 1 to 10 - and whenever a Player spins the wheel and lands on the bonus number, the Player with a job that has that number as their bonus number gets 20k.
Other means of getting money are to have children, to step on tiles and to take part in “mini-games”. Now, the digital version features MORE mini-games, which I will go into detail, but the gist is that whoever wins the mini-game gets money. However, there are some mini-games that take away money, and then there are tiles that also necessitate the Player gives some of their money away.
Overall, the game is heavily steeped in RNG. Funnily enough, the digital version allows for a measure of control over the RNG - because the wheel is spun by clicking and dragging, and a certain number of slots must be gone over before the spin counts, allowing for the Player to set up the wheel in such a manner that they will be more likely to get either a high number, if they so desire, or a low number. That’s quite neat, though it is non-existent in the physical version.
Now, the tiles Players can go over vary. Some are “Action Tiles”, which necessitate the drawing of a card out of a deck which reveals what happens (money earned, money lost) BUT each such card awards 100k at the end of the game (something about a richer life), thus making it a winning strategy to always roll as low as possible. There are “Payday Tiles”, which were already mentioned, giving the Player their salary. There are also baby tiles , which, if landed on, give the Player a baby (if the Player has a spouse) and those babies are worth money at the end of the game, so the more - the merrier!
There are House tiles, which allow the Player to either buy or sell a house, if they already have one. Buying a house can be good in the long run, but it can also be bad, as a house can either be sold for more money than it was bought for or less. That’s decided by spinning the wheel and whether the number is even or odd. There are also stop tiles, which necessitate that the Player stop their movement and spin again to get a new value. Most stop tiles either provide the Player with the opportunity to change direction or they provide them with a bonus (such as a spouse or a child).
Lastly, the digital version features Mini-game tiles, which when landed on get a mini-game going for all players. These mini-games, much like the rest of the game, are played exclusively with the mouse. There is one that requires to click and hold, after which the Player must move the mouse left and right to catch money that’s flying out of a truck. There is one that requires rapid clicking when a certain condition is met, so that the Player gets to a destination first. There’s also the “spin to win” game, which is similar to what I’ve dubbed “mini-games” in the physical version - the Players get tokens and they pick a number upon which to place their tokens. The Player who landed on the tile gets 2 tokens. And then the wheel is spun and whichever Player’s token is landed upon wins 200k.
The mini-games in the physical version of the Game of LIFE are not specific to these funky “mini-game tiles”, and are instead procured from the action tiles. They require that the Player pick an opponent, and then both of them spin - whoever gets a higher number gets money. Or, whoever ends up on an even number gets money, whoever ends up on an odd number loses money. Those are also present in the digital version.
Now, the physical game has issues in the fact that it is incredibly RNG dependent and does not feature any means of controlling that. The decisions the Player makes mean almost nothing and it is not all that fun to play, though the fact it must be played with friends or, at least, acquaintances is fun.
The digital game has other issues. Much like the physical game, the Player is not intended to have more than 4 kids, and so there is no space in their vehicle, though, fortunately, the number is tracked. In addition, any time the Player receives money, they need to click to collect it, otherwise the game will not continue - which is quite silly.
Additionally, the mini-games are off. One of them is based on RNG - who will get the most 50k bills flying in their quadrant - while the other is based on inflicting oneself with RSI, requiring violent clicking at incredibly rapid frequencies to succeed at. The rest of the game is a bit less RNG dependent, as the Player can get good at manipulating the wheel to such an extent that every time it is spun it lands on what the Player wants…
But there’s the issue that things take a long time. Everything is animated neatly, but there is no skipping option, nor is there an option to speed things up, as a result of which it becomes tedious if one is playing online with strangers or against the Computer. Only with friends is this game reasonable, but then considering that this game sucks up the Player’s soul in the form of their personal data, I can’t find good reasons to actually engage with it.
The physical version? That can be made very fun, on account of the fact that it is a physical version and the rules are what the Players agree upon. The digital version? It’s less good than it is middling. 2/3
Presentation
The Game of LIFE, the digital version, has a problem with its Presentation, and that is the fact that the Player is not allowed to change whether the game appears in a window or if it appears in full-screen. That’s such a basic thing to include in a game that it’s baffling that it is not available in the game’s settings, especially for a game that has come out after 2010.
Another major issue with the game’s Presentation that must be stated before we even begin talking about the game’s visuals, is that it features Terms of Service (that must be agreed to) as well as an EULA, but those are both found in the settings menu and the Player is not prompted to read them as the game starts. That’s problematic - as neither during the installation process, neither during the start-up process does the Player even know that there is an EULA or a ToS that need to be agreed upon - and to which the Player is agreeing by playing the game.
This is especially egregious when one considers the fact that the ToS for the Game of LIFE informs the Player that the game collects data, including, but not limited to: The Player’s IP, the Player’s age, gender and interests, as well as their email. Those are then, as agreed to by the Player due to the fact the Player is playing the game, used for marketing purposes, and are shared willy-nilly with companies associated with Marmelade (the developers of the digital version), which includes the colossal Hasbro.
These things must be brought up to the Player’s attention BEFORE the game is installed, because by just launching the game it already starts siphoning data and sending it off. That’s horrendous stuff in regards to how the game presents itself.
Surprisingly, the digital version of the Game of LIFE is not too loud. It is still a bit overbearing, due to the fact that the musical tracks it features are very loopy and elevator-music-esque (and are still relatively loud), as well as the fact that the sound effects are actually egregiously loud and are strangely placed.
As an example, whenever the Player collects money, the sound for money plays once, when the collection begins, and then plays again, when the collection is finalized. The weird thing is that it’s the exact same sound effect, both times, and there seems to be no reason for it to play again.
This is consistent - the sound effects are quite bare-bones, and are very loud in an attempt to mask that, which they lack. Then there’s the issue with the musical tracks that are present - there are only two, one for the main menu (which starts anew whenever the Player returns to the main menu from another menu, such as the settings menu) and one for the game itself.
Visually, the game does not look too bad. It features a 3D map through which the Players navigate, though everything is neatly stylized so it looks decent. It also features a comprehensive set of instructions, as a result of which the means to play the game are clear.
Overall, the game component does not present itself badly, but the audio and everything else about the game fails in a most unpleasant manner, especially when it comes to ethically delivering the Player the EULA and the ToS. 1/3
Story
The Game of LIFE does not, explicitly, have a story, but the way it is structured - as with most board games that feature a goal that needs to be reached, and on the way the Players encounter boons and setbacks - allows for the generation of a story.
Sure, it is a rudimentary one, or it is a mere outline, but there is room for an emergent story to be told. In the case of the Game of LIFE, the story is that of a person who has gone through life. It’s biographical in nature, and those stories are quite interesting, because people find some commonalities with the Characters in them.
As a result, this game that otherwise has no story, manages to somehow get to have a story, and I quite like the way it does that. 1/3
Legendary Point
Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? I’d be willing to say that the physical Game of LIFE might be worthy of getting this point, but then I would have to ignore the dependence on RNG as well as the blatant misrepresentation of reality that is presented by it. Teachers having one of the highest salaries out of all possible options is just infuriating, for it is not true to reality, even if it should be. Thus, NO, the Game of LIFE does not get the Legendary Point. 0/1
Conclusion
4/10. The Game of LIFE’s digital version is not good. It is made good by being played with friends, but most games are made good by that. As a result, I would not recommend it to anyone. Now, the physical Game of LIFE - that’s pretty good, and can be turned into a fantastic drinking game too!
In the bag of mediocrity I mercifully place it, though it might have deserved the wall of shame. Nevertheless, it will gather dust and be forgotten.