NBA Street Showdown | a Review
originally published on 11/04/2021;
Hello everyone, I am the fly, swagger ridden baller, G.E.M.Simov, a prodigy of the School yard’s Basketball players, not due to the fact there was a whopping total of 3 of us. Today, I will whinny about NBA Street Showdown for the PSP.
Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it. Also, I am a gameplay designer and a writer so I got the credentials to talk shit.
Gameplay
This game is somewhat similar to FIFA, but if it was Basketball. Three people on each team play ball and they try to generate more points to get a ‘Gamebreaker’. Important - to play this game, the player NEEDS to read the manual or shove their face deep in the controls, otherwise the player will NOT find out how to perform well enough to win, when it comes to handling challenges that involve winning via means that are not getting more hoops.
Now, to get a ‘Gamebreaker’, one needs to perform tricks and land hoops in a very flashy manner, normally after a combo. How does that happen? The player needs to press multiple buttons at once and hope that the AI does not decide to instantly steal the ball. Why is that such an issue, considering that the player can also steal the ball? Well, the AI is bad, in the sense that it is PERFECT. The use of the Square Button is relegated to performing tricks, if the player is on the offensive, and gambling, if the player is on the defense.
When pressed, it ought to Steal the ball from the enemy currently utilizing it, if the character the player is controlling is close enough… But the AI always counters that by performing a trick at the perfect opportunity. A trick? Using the Square Button when on the Offensive. In essence, the AI gets more and more points, and, if the player loses the ball, the player will most likely lose, as there is no good mechanic that allows the player to get back into the game.
The only means of getting through and winning are to land a hoop first, and then try to do something. Unfortunately, almost every single defensive move does not work. Imagine, dear reader, a move that is meant to block. The player uses it and then… Nothing. Their character just jumps and their arms go haywire for a moment. This move does not even work when used by the AI - and that ought to be a red flag. In fact, this game is like most other sports games - it has controls… But they don’t really control anything.
In essence, this is a game of luck that has a steep learning curve, which learning curve is manifested in knowledge that allows the player to control the RNG behind that luck so as to better accumulate ‘Gamebreaker’ points. It’s smooth, but it is very, very buggy, in the sense that things that should work do not work half the time. 1/3
Presentation
I opened up the menu for this game and I did not know what the Hell was going on. At first, there’s this beep/beat thing that repeats for a good 10 seconds, and made me think the game CRASHED, but then it went into a rap song (I think) and then all the rest of the soundtrack was that.
On the topic of the menu - there were a few modes that could be picked - Quick Play, which, naturally, sends the player into a game, there’s Party Play, which lets the player go into a turn based set of arcade games to play with friends by exchanging the PSP, then there’s Head to Head, which is the online mode - DEAD, as we speak - as in, that’s Quick Play, but with other people.
Lastly, there’s King of the Courts, which is the closest thing to a Campaign mode. BUT, before the player can play this, they need to go to another menu and create a character. The character creation is the silliest thin ever, because there are a billion terms being tossed around and the player needs to make important decisions about whether or not they want a certain set of points in skill A or skill B, when they do not even know what either of those skills does.
It’s a bit of a joke, when it comes to clarity. The soundtrack for this game is made up of songs that are really lacking in uniqueness or overwhelming flavour… Although they do have a song that is somewhat reminiscent of the “Space Jam” song, and that’s pretty cool. Though, with that out of the way, there’s also the issue that sport games have commenters babbling during the games being played in them.
The commenter for NBA Street Showdown is… Stinky. He never says anything of value, it’s just him blabbering on so that the song isn’t the only thing that is audible. The sound effects aren’t all that bad, and the visuals of the game are decent, even reasonably good, considering it’s a 2005 game for the PSP, but that’s about as far as it goes in redeeming qualities. 2/3
Story
There is no story, except that the ‘Baller’ the player creates wants to become the King of the Court, by beating 11 other courts all over the USA. That’s about it. 0/3
Legendary Point
Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? No. This is a janky, dysfunctional game, the only quality of which is that it was made by EA: BIG - and that’s owed up to it being funny. 0/1
Conclusion
3/10. This is a game I would recommend to people who have PSPs, like Basketball, and really have nothing else to do.
I hang it on the wall of shame and sigh heavily. Sports games, why are they always mediocre at best?