UNO | a Review
originally published on 13/12/2024;
Hello everyone, I am the certified board game designer, G.E.M.Simov, a being of pure spite and hatred, come to tell you about the digital (and physical) versions of “UNO”.
Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.
Gameplay
UNO is a card-based party game that can be played via Satan’s urethra– I mean it is a game that, if obtained through Steam, requires that the Player install Ubisoft Connect (formerly U-play), make an Ubisoft account and launch Ubisoft Connect every time they try to play the game. This is such dreadfully horrible User Experience that I am considering taking off 2 points from the grade for just that, as it takes anywhere between 60 and 300 seconds to simply start the game, not including the game’s intro cinematic or epileptic seizure warning.
However, I will be merciful, as UNO (the board game, the physical edition) does not feature Ubisoft’s lanky, but-stuffed and sniffed talons. So, UNO is a card game that can be played by, at the least, 2 people and up to 4. In addition, if played in physical form, the Players can attempt funky business such as adding more and more Players to it, or they can attempt to merge multiple decks to accommodate even more Players.
Now, the physical version of UNO is many times superior to the digital version of UNO based off of just that, and also the fact that its ruleset is not binding and restrictive, as it is in the digital version, because the Players can choose not to abide by certain rules or they can choose to add new ones.
However, the gist of the game is that there are 4 colors of cards, with each color featuring a pair of number cards with numbers from 0 to 9, as well as a pair of “Reverse” cards, “Draw Two” cards and “Skip” cards. There are 26 cards of a particular color, for a total of 104 colored cards. In addition to those, there are also 4 “Wild” cards and 4 “Wild Draw Four” cards, for a total of 112 cards in a UNO deck.
The goal of the game is simple - run out of cards first. Every Player draws 7 cards from the draw pile, and the topmost card of the draw pile is drawn and flipped, beginning the middle pile. The Player who goes first must either play a card that matches the color or the number of the card on top of the middle pile, or must draw a card. If the Player has no matching card, they MUST draw a card, though they can draw even if they have a matching card.
When a Player goes down to one card, they must call “UNO”. If they forget to do that, another player can call “STOP”, which will make the Player with one card draw 2 cards. The digital version of UNO allows the Player to call UNO while they are at two cards (and can play a card), making it a bit easier to not miss, on account of the fact that a large new button that is otherwise not present shows up. The named cards are neat ways to spice things up, because if it was only numbers, it would be prone to getting a bit boring.
So, what do these named cards do? The “Reverse” card changes the order of play - if the Player who goes second plays it, the Player who plays next will be the Player who went first, even if there are other Players who have not yet had their turns.
The “Draw Two” card makes the next Player in the turn order draw two cards. The “Skip” card makes the next Player in the turn order skip their turn - neither drawing nor playing a card. The “Wild” card can be played regardless of the current color and is used to set a new color. The “Wild Draw Four” card can, similarly to the “Wild” card, be played regardless of the current color and is used to set a new color, but it also makes the next Player in the turn order draw four cards.
The digital version of UNO features a rule that allows for the challenging of a “Wild Draw Four” card. If challenged, the Player who played the “Wild Draw Four” card must show their hand. If they did not have a card matching the color of the topmost card in the pile, the challenger goes on to draw six cards. If they do have a card matching the color of the topmost card in the pile, the Player who played the “Wild Draw Four” card is the one who draws four cards.
With that said… That’s UNO! It’s a pretty fun experience with friends, and a not nearly as fun experience with strangers online or AI (bots). The digital version also offers a few “house rules” that can be put in effect to additionally spice up the game - such as stacking “Draw Two” cards, allowing Player two, if they have a “Draw Two” card, to play it instead of drawing two cards, following the Player one playing a “Draw Two” card, which results in Player three drawing four cards if they do not have a “Draw Two” card to continue the stack.
There are also rules that give numbered cards effects - such as making a 7 allow the Player who plays it to swap hands with another Player, or making a 0 make Players pass their hands onto the Player who goes after them (with the last Player giving their hand to the first Player). These are neat, and can definitely help with making the game more interesting if the basic rules have become a bit stale.
Another thing that can be done is to play team-based UNO, which pits 2 Players against another 2 Players. The Players who are on a team can see each other’s cards and go after a Player on the opposing teams. This presents a new element and is pretty neat.
One of the more weird things that digital UNO allows is for the use of add-ons… Which are just ways for Ubisoft to suck out money from the Players. Some of those feature new cards that have special effects, others are just different looks for the game, while others yet do both. Naturally, those require that the Player opens up Ubisoft Connect, so no thank you, this aspect of digital UNO is not going to be examined.
An oddity that digital UNO does is automatically start a new game only 5 seconds after the previous has ended, which often-times puts the Player in a situation where they are, perhaps, not ready for a game or they don’t want to play a game, which creates an inconvenience for them. This cannot be turned off in the game’s settings, which is very odd.
However, UNO is a game with a very solid foundation. Sure, it depends on RNG, but when the context of playing UNO is, most often, at a party and among friends, that does not truly matter. When it comes to the digital version, it has the same issues as the physical version, with a few more added on top, but it manages to remain decent. 2/3
Presentation
UNO is simple and memorable. I mean, what more is there to say aside for the existence of the “UNO reverse meme”?
The digital version does not fail in that regard. It looks very good, and it also sounds very nice. The volume is just right, the music is very quaint and relaxing, a bit reminiscent of elevator music; the sound effects are glittery but also charming, sounding very crisp and pleasant, and the visuals are a treat to behold.
The menus themselves are very originally styled to resemble UNO cards, and they’re interesting enough to make trudging through the menus manageably visually appealing. However, digital UNO has issues.
For starters, the tutorial is tucked away in the game’s settings. That’s just obtuse. The tutorial itself is fine, but the fact that it is IN THE SETTINGS is really mind-boggling. In addition to that, the User Interface (UI) is cluttered by advertisements. The main menu features not one, but TWO massive UI elements that direct the Player to the shop.
One of them is part of the menu and attempts to look a bit theme-adequate, even if the big “Assassin’s Creed man” on it rips the Player out of the comfy feeling the menu’s visuals and music otherwise create. The other visual element is just a banner that constantly scrolls through the most recent items that can be purchased in the shop, constantly goading the Player into visiting and buying something.
Another “wonderful” piece of design that digital UNO is afflicted with is the red dot. There are countless red dots popping up over almost every single icon or UI element, requesting the Player’s attention, informing them that something new has been unlocked, or that something can happen. Funnily enough, visiting those naturally features redirections to the store, as well as UI elements that are broken and don’t show anything.
Overall, here we have yet another case of something that’s very neat in appearance that gets ruined by violent greed. Not a massive surprise, but unfortunate nonetheless. 2/3
Story
UNO has no story. 0/3
Legendary Point
Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? I almost considered it for a moment, but then the sheer fact that this game requires that I have Ubisoft’s spyware installed made it impossible for me to even dream of giving UNO the Legendary Point.
It’s insulting to have to go through two launchers to play a game I’ve paid for. It’s just more and more violently exemplary of the fact that I do not actually own the game I’ve paid for - I own a license to use the software, and that license gives me another license… Just dreadful. Buy games from GOG, pursue DRM free goodness, banish this filth to the shadow realm, thank you. 0/1
Conclusion
4/10. A fun card game to play with friends or to bring to a party. I would recommend it to folks looking for some kind of family activity or social thing to enjoy with people you know, but definitely not for solitary use. In addition, try to not get the digital version unless all your friends live in different countries or at stupid distances from you.
In the bag of mediocrity it goes, always to be remembered and always to be mourned for the vile touch of Ubisoft has marred it irreparably.