Lemmings | a Review
originally published on 13/04/2021;
Hello everyone, I am the fantastically smart, not at all a lemming, G.E.M.Simov, a menace to society, due to how good I look, come here to tell you all about Lemmings… That one on the PSP, but I figure this covers all the Lemmings there were.
Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it. Also, I am a gameplay designer and a writer so I got the credentials to talk shit.
Gameplay
Now… This game. This game is something along the lines of a puzzle game. It’s 2D, and it features a bunch of goons falling from a portal (or trapdoor, or something), and then walking, aimlessly, in a direction. The player can move the camera around, can select a Type of Lemming, out of 8, and make any goon that is walking about (who are ordinary Lemmings) a promotion into that special type of Lemming. The goal is to get a certain number of Lemmings through a gate at the other side of the level, typically in 7 minutes.
And that’s about all there is to the gameplay. The player gets to see the level, takes note of what obstacles there are, and then devises a strategy. Afterwards, the player waits for their Lemmings to reach their positions, promotes them to a type of Lemming, which means said NEWLY UPGRADED Lemming performs their task… And then the player keeps doing that until they either run out of Lemmings, run out of Promotions to give, run out of Time, or win the level by getting X (where X is a number between 10 and 90) Lemmings through the gate.
Now, here’s the deal - this is a proper puzzle game. It’s slow, methodical and requires a little bit of thinking. However, there’s one thing I feel the need to point out. Even if the levels are well designed and feature interesting puzzles with interesting solutions - and there’s more than 100 of them - I can’t help but feel as though this game just doesn’t manage to provide enough… Enjoyment.
While the gameplay of a puzzle game ought to be calm and relaxed, there is a harrowing sense of urgency to Lemmings, due to the timer (those 7 minutes are ticking already, better hurry up!), as well as the fact that there is a state where the player has LOST. It’s quite lacking in the comfy department, which I thought would be right on target, looking at its presentation, box-art, and everything else.
The crux here is that the game does not have a good amount of enjoyment to be derived from it, because it’s not something that the player can just boot up and relax while playing, maybe enjoy the music or just mess around in some of the earlier levels - that’s never an option. It’s not like solving a jigsaw puzzle, it’s more like solving a SAW puzzle.
It is very solid, in the gameplay department, so I’ve got to give it at least a bit of credit. 2/3
Presentation
Lemmings looks pretty good, for a 2006 game, though it has a few issues. Namely, the music is too loud and also not good. It’s not bad, but it’s not good - it’s just average, though it is very repetitive and it slowly becomes grating, even droning, which is a problem, considering that the music is around 75% of what the player will be hearing - unless, of course, their Lemmings aren’t dying in horrific ways.
That brings me to the sound effects - those aren’t bad, but there’s so few of them, and they feel so underwhelming, that I can’t quite say they’re good, either. Now, there’s another thing - an issue, if you will.
There is no tutorial for the game in the game. There’s nothing that explains what each of the 8 types of Lemmings do. The means to obtain that knowledge? Grab the Instruction Manual from the box and read it. Otherwise, the player is left stranded in uncertainty. Of course, the player can find out what each thing does through trial and error, but I wouldn’t say that’s good presentation, considering that the tutorial exists - it’s just not in the game, it’s on the Manual that comes WITH the game… Weird.
In short, this game does not look bad, but it’s lacking in exceptionality. Mediocre, alas, is what it is. 2/3
Story
There is no story. Literally. Again, the Instruction Manual provides the lore - Lemmings are stupid, so make sure they don’t just die. That’s all there is to it, and, thus, this is not getting a good rating. 0/3
Legendary Point
Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? No. In short - no. At length? Read the rest of the review, folks. This game doesn’t get the ‘puzzle game’ aesthetic and feeling right, but then it doesn’t get the tense action/strategy/horror/any other genre game feeling right, either, because it is so slow. It’s not something phenomenal. 0/1
Conclusion
4/10. Lemmings is actually a decent Puzzle game, and I’d hotly recommend you give your children a copy of it, and the instruction to beat all the levels, because that will definitely do wonders for their cognitive ability. For you? Yes, of course, play it, if you’d like a challenge, but don’t expect anything astonishing. Also, if you’re old, and a certain forgetful illness frightens you, use Lemmings’ mental stimulation to keep it at bay. No warranty, I am not a medical professional, even though I am a Doctor.
I tuck it under my belt, another average game in a sea of average games. Alas, when will I find a shining jewel, again?