G.E.M.Simov

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring | a Review/Rant

written around 2021; This article is a transcript for something I was planning on making, but wound up not making, thus the stranger wording and its unfinished nature. Hello there, ladies and gentlemen, my name is G.E.M.Simov and I have no qualifications to review any movie. I

House of the Dragon - Episode 6 Season 1 | a Review

originally published on 30/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the very sad, quite sad, G.E.M.Simov, a fella in mourning, here to tell you all about the Sixth Episode of the First Season of the serial film: “House of the Dragon”. Simple review details - I try

House of the Dragon - Episode 5 Season 1 | a Review

originally published on 23/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the painfully reasonable and rational G.E.M.Simov, a very disappointed person, here to tell you all about the Fifth Episode of the First Season of the serial film: “House of the Dragon”. Simple review details - I try

House of the Dragon - Episode 4 Season 1 | a Review

originally published on 22/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the scarily rash and uncommunicative, G.E.M.Simov, a visitor of pleasure houses, here to tell you all about the Fourth Episode of the First Season of the serial film: “House of the Dragon”. Simple review details - I

House of the Dragon - Episode 3 Season 1 | a Review

originally published on 21/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the well-fed crab, G.E.M.Simov, very crabbily-crab-crabbed, here to tell you all about the Third Episode of the First Season of the serial film: “House of the Dragon”. Simple review details - I try to rank films on

House of the Dragon - Episode 2 Season 1 | a Review

originally published on 20/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the son who has made himself, G.E.M.Simov, in all my shoddily cobbled together glory, here to tell you all about the Second Episode of the First Season of the serial film: “House of the Dragon”. Simple review

House of the Dragon - Episode 1 Season 1 | a Review

originally published on 18/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the singer of icy, yet fiery songs, G.E.M.Simov, a born maniac of fantastical proportions, here to tell you all about the First Episode of the First Season (seeing as there’s almost definitely going to be a

Accident on the Quiet Street | a Review

originally published on 23/07/2025; Hello everyone, I am the ultimate crime thriller, G.E.M.Simov, a being so proficient at solving mysteries I knew Bush did 9/11 a day after it happened, and I am here to tell you about Pavel Vejinov’s book (novelette) “Accident

The Adventures of The Little Onion | a Review

originally published on 12/06/2025; Hello everyone, I am the enjoyer of onions, G.E.M.Simov, a revolutionary so opposed to the tyrannical lemons I am willing to give my life in the fight against them, here to tell you about Gianni Rodari’s book “The Adventures of

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas | a Review

originally published on 24/05/2025; Hello everyone, I am the understander, G.E.M.Simov, a being aware of the horrors (the mask of humanity wielded by capitalism - removed!), here to tell you about John Boyne’s “The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas”. Simple review details - I