G.E.M.Simov

Nope (2022) | a Review

originally published on 13/09/2022; Hello everyone, I am the negatively positive pessimist with an optimistic outlook, G.E.M.Simov, a fellow enthusiastic about science fiction and all the great ponderings that can be performed through its use, here to tell you about the movie “Nope”. Simple review

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) | a Review

originally published on 19/08/2022; Hello everyone, I am the divinely mortal, G.E.M.Simov, a fan of Thor (purely because of the fact it supposedly deals with Norse mythology) come to talk to you about the most recent Thor movie - Thor: Love and Thunder. Simple review

Repentance (1984) | a Review

originally published on 04/08/2022; Hello everyone, I am the enemy of the state and the enemy of the people, G.E.M.Simov, a furious commie with anarchistic tendencies who has recently crawled out of his grave to bother his family. Wait, no, that’s the main character

The VVitch / The Witch (2015) | a Review

originally published on 16/07/2022; Hello everyone, I am the divine G.E.M.Simov, a cursed creature spoken of in hushed tones, followed by rapid prayers. I’m here to talk about a movie that bothers me. Is it called “The Witch”, with a “W”, or is it

San Andreas (2015) | a Review

originally published on 07/07/2022; Hello everyone, I am the groundbreaking G.E.M.Simov, a menace to society on the level of the eruption of Yellowstone, and I’ve come to talk to you about natural disasters, namely earthquakes, and the fantasy they’ve inspired in “San Andreas”

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) | a Review

originally published on 14/06/2022; Hello everyone, I am the unlicensed paleontologist, G.E.M.Simov, a menace on society and nature as a whole, here to tell you about the sixth(?) Jurassic Park movie, which is the third Jurassic World movie, and is five movies too deep to

Shazam! (2019) | a Review

originally published on 13/06/2022; Hello everyone, I am the wizarding sorcerer G.E.M.Simov, a superior hero of villainous origins who is worthy of everything, and today I'll tell you about the super hero that's meant to be a wizard but isn'

The Dinosaur Project (2012) | a Review

originally published on 07/06/2022; Hello everyone, I am the zoocryptidon, G.E.M.Simov, an ancient creature of the likes of Loch Ness' Nessie or the Chupakabra. In this review, I will tell you about 'The Dinosaur Project'. Simple review details - I rank movies

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008) | a Review

originally published on 30/05/2022; Hello everyone, I am the currently quite somber G.E.M.Simov, a magnificently dreary grinch come to tell you about the 2008 film “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”, henceforth referred to as BSP, because I’m lazy. Simple review details - I

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) | a Review

originally published on 13/05/2022; Hello everyone, I am the mystical GEMSimov, a master of the fart arts, here to tell you about “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” (henceforth known as ‘the movie’ or ‘the film’). I’ve been maddened by the length of this thing’s